This is the 25th Anniversary Season for the Goat Scouts. This year the Goats will be under the capable leadership of Keith Martin. Best of luck to the team this year as the Goats strive to improve on last season, which duplicated 2010. Remember Goats, have fun and win lots of games!

The Goat record in 2012 was 5 wins, 11 losses, 1 rain out and 1 forfeit (win).

• Practices
• April 17, 2012, HS @ Paper Tigers (Loss 6-18)
• April 24, 2012, HN vs L.A. Radars (Loss 11-24)
• May 1, 2012, HS vs Crawdads RAINOUT
• May 9, 2012, HS @ Bruisers (Loss 11-12)
• May 16, 2012, HS @ Double Mercy!! (Win 21-8)
• May 21, 2012, HN vs Titans (Win 23-20)
• May 29, 2012, HS vs Crawdads (Goat Forfeit)
• June 5, 2012, HN @ Homers (Win 23-16)
• June 13, 2012, HN vs Wild Turkeys (Loss 15-23)
• June 19, 2012, HN vs Eclectic Eccentrics (Win 13-7)
• June 27, 2012, HN @ Voodoo TOAD Fury (Loss 12-13)
• Week of July 2, 2012 - NO GAMES
• Week of July 9, 2012 - BYE
• July 16, 2012, HN vs Bruisers (Loss 16-17)
• Week of July 23, 2012 - BYE
• July 30, 2012, HN @ L.A. Radars (Loss 14-15)
• August 8, 2012, HS vs Voodoo TOAD Fury (Goat Forfeit)
• August 13, 2012, HS @ Titans (Titan Forfeit)
• August 21, 2012, HN vs Homers (Goat Forfeit)
• August 28, 2012, HN @ Wild Turkeys (Goat Forfeit)

2012 Season Record - 4 wins, 7 losses, 1 rain out, 1 Forfeit by Opponent, 4 Forfeits by the Goats

2012 Game Summaries

Ten Goats attended the first practice of the season, including Goat Rookies Mandy Wang and Oleg Sindiy. Returning Goats included Paula, Sonya, Jackie, Keizo, Lloyd, Larry, Bryan, and Keith. It was a beautiful spring evening, with Little Leaguers on HN and the Titans or Tigers on HS. The Goats managed to squeeze into the middle. I am pleased to report there were no pre-season injuries. I am also pleased to see that Paula hasn't missed a step (looks like she's been playing Winter Ball). Mandy had some good contact at the plate on her first time on the field. Sorry you had to leave early Oleg. We'll have you bat first next week.

After moving the second practice from Wedesday, April 4, to Tuesday, April 3 in order to get more Goats to attend; only five Goats showed up for batting practice shared with another team on HN. The happy Goats were Keith, Eisha, Mandy, Kenny, and Bryan. At this rate, I'll only have me there on Opening Day...

Goats Tripled By Tigers, 18-6

As we begin our latest season of this Game of Throwns, let's start by throw'n this one out. The Tigers graciously waited for the delinquent Goats to gather enough players to start the game. Then they scored in every inning while blanking the Goats three times. Bryan noted that we went into the preseason "overweight and out of shape". Well, we are already in midseason form, so things can only go up from here.

Defensive highlights include a 6-5-6 rundown by Bryan and Keith, and a line drive 5-3 double play by Keith and Liana. Bryan and Cindy came up short on a 6-4-3 DP attempt. The outfield even had a few catches. Cindy, Eisha, and Angela gave us their Keyston Kops impression on a grounder through all the wickets. Later, Eisha used her soccer skills to trap a ball out in right. Boy, if I could only get everybody playing softball ...

Offensive highlights include doubles by Will, Bryan (2), and Lloyd. Goat Rookie Oleg cashed in with his first two Goat hits.

The Keizo Bruise of The Game Award goes to Angela, who took a fly ball to the shin; and who also showed up way late and didn't get to warm up, and didn't make any practices, not that that had anything to do with it. :)

Goats Ruffled by Radars, 24-11

Did I say last time that there's no where to go but up? Boy did I get a wrong number! As did the Goats in the 2nd inning when they gave up eight runs. The Radars added to the lead each inning after that, while holding the Goats scoreless three times. Looks like I'm gonna have to work on my glutes, because the bottom half of my lineup is sagging...

The good news is that Goat Rookie Mandy made her debut, collecting two hits and making a 4-6 forceout in the late innings. The other potential good news is that we have not yet had Tom, Marc, Eli, Sean, and Big Dave on the field yet.

Defensive highlights include a nice running over-the-shoulder grab by Bryan, a 1-2 bases loaded force by Lloyd and Larry, and an unassisted force at 3rd by Liana.

Offensive highlights include doubles by Bryan (2), Lloyd (2), and Eisha. Lloyd went 3/3, with two tree-doubles that wowed the displaced Little Leaguers. Hey, it's not just chicks who dig the long ball.

Tonight's game is rained out. As Bryan noted, Larry's rain dance seems to be working...

We'll try to reschedule so we can clash with the Crawdads later this year.

Goats Overcome by Bruisers, 12-11

Trailing 7-6 after five, the Bruisers wanted to make the 6th be the last inning of the game. The Goats will have no part of such nonsense. So the Goats added one in the sixth, but gave up four to trail 10-8. Then the top of the order for the Goats added three to take a one run lead into the bottom of the 7th. Alas, the Goats could only get one out before surrendering the tying and winning runs.

Your manager has never before lead the team to three straight losses, so this is a first. Looks like this might be a year for the history books...

Keith tried to stretch a single and got caught in a pickle, but managed to escape when Karen's throw to 1st was a bit high. Larry almost got a pickoff at 1st with a nice snap throw. Eisha noted that she heard the screaming liner that rocketed between 1st and 2nd for a Bruiser base hit. That's good, but next time, let's herd that ball into your glove! Keith exhorted Keizo to put some juice on his throws to 1st, but Bryan noted that he was already doing that...

Defensive highlights include a 6-3-5 double play turned by Bryan, Keith, and Keizo, and a standard 1-6-3 DP from Lloyd, Bryan, and Keith. Bryan, Keith, and Larry just missed on a 6-3-2 DP attempt (collision at the plate), and Lloyd and Keizo missed on a 1-5 attempt at 3rd (another sliding takeout). Marc, Bryan, and Larry made up for the earlier misses by getting a 7-6-2 out at the plate. Keizo even caught a liner at 3rd. Now I've seen everything!

Offensive highlights include a home run by Bryan and doubles by Keizo, Lloyd (2) and Keith (2).

Streaking Goats Arrested - Win 21-8

The Hoffman Boys, Tom and Kevin, sauntered in for their first game of the season. Were the Goats motivated merely by their presence? Or was it the unexpected inspirational pep talk by Tom before the game? Now, I might have gone with "the team is up against it, things are wrong and the breaks are beating the Goats - go in there with all you've got and just win one for the Keither." But Tom came in with puppy dogs, fluffy white clouds, rainbows and unicorns. And the rest is history. The Goats took the early lead in the 1st. Both teams were blanked in the 3rd, and both scored three in the 4th. Then the Goat offense exploded for 12 in the 5th and it was mercy for the DM!! squad. Two more in the 6th reacquainted the DM!! with themselves and ended the Goat attack. The DM!! got two (or three?) back in the bottom half, but Marc shut them down with the unassisted final out at 3rd.

As a reminder that Spring is upon us, the DM!! third baseman got a little frisky with Jackie at the start of the Big Rally. Right in front of Ma and Grandpa! Did that rile up the Goats? Who knows, but we noted that Jackie was not complaining...

Injury report - Will was nailed in the back with a relay throw as he scored. The ship's surgeon suggested brain surgery, or perhaps removal of one leg; but Will assures us he'll be at full speed for next week's game.

Defensive highlights include another tag by Keizo, this time at the plate, at the tail end of a 6/5-3-2 DP. Eisha made a catch in the outfield - the first one of those by any outfielder in some time. The Goats nearly missed getting several outs at first. While I'm not advocating instant replay, I might suggest some vision exams for the umps...

Offensive highlights include doubles by Bryan (2), Larry, Tom (2), Keizo (2), and Will, a triple by Lloyd, and home runs by Keith and Marc.

Goats Survive Blasts, Win 23-20

With our recent (losing) history against the Titans, it may have appeared as though we were chained to the post like the little goat in Jurassic Park. As the many Titan homers and doubles pelted the outfield grass, things looked grim for our heroes. But when the smoke cleared in the bottom of the 7th, it was the plucky Goats who survived the extinction events. And they say history never repeats.

The Titans took the early lead with 5 in the first. But the Goats answered with nine after batting around. Sheesh, I'm gonna have to bring extra score sheets if we keep this up! (Let's do!) The Titans added five in the 3rd and two in the 4th to catch the Goats at 12. The Goats added two in the 4th to retake the lead, but gave up three each in the next two innings to trail again. The Goats added one in the 6th to trail by three going into the final frame. Somehow (I'm a blond) our scoresheet total had us incorrectly trailing by five instead of the actual count, three. (Or is that just JPL managerial style creeping in?) The Titans added two in the 7th to pad their lead. Then the Titans lost one of their two girls, so they could only field eight on defense for the 7th. In recent years, their lead would have held. But not tonight. The Goats poured six singles and three doubles into the wide open spaces to plate eight for the win.

Despite the many free baserunners afforded by the hot-potato Goat defense, a very satisfying victory, indeed.

Defensive highlights include a fine running catch at Rover by Liana. Kevin H. had some entertaining catches in left, though he juggled and lost several more. No, it is not better to have juggled and lost, than to never have juggled at all. We are helping Bryan forget his troubles with grounders by not reminding him of that here...

Offensive highlights include doubles by Bryan (2), Lloyd (2), and Keith. Angela and Lloyd went 5/5. Angela had the "actual" game-wining RBI, with Lloyd getting the "perceived" GWRBI via made-to-order tree double.

Goats Forfeit Their Makeup

Only four Goats showed their faces against the Crawdads: Bryan, Larry, Lloyd, and Kevin. Perpetually-late Keizo was in-transit non-gloria as the game was called.

Darn! Now I'll have to return these crates of complimentary Revlon, Max Factor, and Cover Girl beauty products. Oh well, the Goats don't really need that stuff anyway...

Goats Hammer-Horror Homers, 23-16

The Goats crushed another long time rival that they haven't been competitive with in ages. Really? What a long, strange trip this season's been. Gee, you'd think some crazy celestial happenings were happening. Oh, yes... they were. Both teams started the day with six guys and two girls. Both teams had late arrivals by the time the Venusian shadows were well upon us.

The Homers held a one run lead after three. The Goats added four in the 4th, and blanked the Homers there. Then, in one of the wildest feats of non-mercy rule accounting ever (Dang it, Jim! I'm an engineer, not a bean counter!), the Goats hammered home 11 whopping runs in the fifth. We should have stopped after Will's single plated Marc, but somehow we missed that. It took Bryan's grand slam to bring everybody's attention to the score. The Homers got three back, and then outscored the Goats by three in the 6th to trail by eight. The Goats added two for insurance in the 7th. From there the Homers could only add three or four before the final out. Another fun game, with good old friends. (Emphasis on old.)

Strange Days indeed: Wonder Boy was ejected not long after Keith's ringing line drive out to left in the 1st. They showed us the updated illegal bat list of March 1, 2012 that declares the Easton ConneXion CXN Sc777 as bad. But Wonder Boy is not a ConneXion, he's X-Treme! Our lawyers note that the TOADs have a similar bat, and the Commish (Charlie-O K) has not banished that!

Defensive highlights include a laser throw from Marc at third to first that impressed us all. Where did that come from?

Offensive highlights include a grand slam by Bryan, and doubles by Bryan and Marc (3). Eisha and Liana were the envy of all of the guys by getting nine at-bats each. It's like I always say, "give me two good girls - and don't tell my wife!"

Goats Trampled by Turkeys, 23-15

The feathers were really flying around the bases as the Turkeys nearly mercied us in the second. Liana shut the outfield door in the third, and the Goats responded with an eight run rally to pull within one. The Goats took the lead in the 4th, but gave it back in the fifth. It's at that point where, as we were getting back into the game, the Turkeys piled on seven more runs in the 6th. The Goats went quietly into the night from there. The Turkeys reluctantly agreed to end the already two hour game without going to the 7th inning.

Defensive highlights include many catches by Liana at Rover. She had a hand in all three outs in the 3rd: catching a fly, then catching a liner and doubling the runner off second with a throw to Bryan. Bryan attempted a tag-and-throw DP from first to home, but only got the tag at first.

Offensive highlights include a home run by Keith and doubles by Bryan (3) and Lloyd. Sonya got her first hit-and-run of the season.

Goats SquEEze the EEs, 13-7

The game was against the Eclectic Eccentrics and true to their name they were a mixed bag and showed up with 6 players fairly late. Two more eventually showed up to evenly match the brave 8 of the Goats with Raquel making her season debut for the best possible game. We decided to close RF and supply a catcher to make the defense reasonable. With the team short on personnel but not on talent we had Liana make her pitching debut. Heeding the advice of “Keep it high, never groove one” she was outstanding on the mound channeling the best pitcher of yester yore in holding the EE’s to a minimal number of hits and runs in her complete game victory (they got only 7 runs).

She was helped by a couple of her own good defensive plays and a couple of double plays on caught balls by Eisha and Keizo. Good fielding plays by Tom on Left Field and Bryan and Eisha at SS and 2B kept the EE’s in the hole. Things got more interesting in the 3rd when 2 EE’s and one goat left. In the true spirit of the game the teams decided to press on for one more inning with the pitcher and catcher being supplied to the other team. This required everyone to have a roll and sometimes two. The best part of the multitasking was Eisha trying to keep score while being on base at First. Luckily Bryan relieved her before she had to make the dash to second with the clipboard. The Goats had the lead from the outset and never looked back putting the EE’s in Mercy in the third. Offensive highlights included a home run by Kevin (3 for 4) on a ball carefully placed down the RC outfield line that could not be tracked down before he rounded the bases, two sharp doubles by Bryan (3 for 4), and Tom went 4 for 4. True to excellent pitching creating excellent hitting, Liana went 4 for 4 with two of them being well struck outfield shots.

Goats Lose Twilight Saga to TOADS, 13-12

As Charlie mentioned after the game, it was "another epic battle!" between the two old rivals. With apologies to Mr. Jones and me, the game was on and the Goats took a 2-1 lead into the second where they piled on seven. But pride came up the backstretch and the TOADs answered with six to trail by two. My tears held back and my heart was nearly out of the running as the Goats were blanked the next three innings. Meanwhile, my heartaches came to the inside as the TOADs caught and then passed us on the turn. With our last at bats, the Goats added three to lead by a nose. Again, the TOADs plated two for the tie; and with two outs, outstretched us in a photo finish.

Kevin H fell prey to a Killer Taco prior to the game. Paula was also a late scratch due to stomach ailments. OU812?

Mid-season call-up Rookies Sarah Marx, Chris Morrison, and Conrad Schmidt joined the party. Jose Guzman escaped from Mars and found his way back to the Goats. He received an instantaneous $50 fine for showing up without his glove.

Defensive highlights include Larry tagging Charlie out at home on a relay from Bryan, 7-6-2. Marc made all three outs in the 4th or 5th and almost started 7-6-1-5 double play, but Will lost the ball in the Sun as soon as it left Bryan's hand. Tom caught a hot line drive at third and almost doubled the runner at second, but nobody was home to receive his throw. Keith and Bryan alternated on starting 1-6-3 DPs, but both attempts came up short. Any one of these potential double plays could have turned the tide. Sarah looked solid at 1st, and did the splits to grab a low throw from Oleg. In the words of a Mr. D. Vader, from Tattoo, IN, "Impressive!"

Offensive highlights include doubles by Bryan, Keith, and Oleg. Each of the rookies got their first Goat hits, and Sarah and Chris scored.

Ronda H was again our lone fan, and she and Keith did a little Ruth Buzzi-Arte Johnson schtick to a largely unappreciative crowd. Just showing our age, I guess...

Goats Left Stranded, 17-16

The Goats lost their second consecutive one-run game. This time, the Goats stranded the tying run at 3rd in their last at-bat, with the potential winning run at 1st.

DC made his first game of the season and had two hits and one run. He was also erased in two double plays: one he lined into to end the 3rd, and the second was on Keizo's line out to end the game. Welcome back. (I know, we make it look so easy from the stands...)

Defensive highlights include an 8-4-6 tag of Randy as he changed his mind about stretching a double; brought to you by Will, Keith, and Tom. Bryan, pitching, made a tag at third when he intercepted a relay from the outfield meant for Marc. (On defense, stealing is a good thing?)

Offensive highlights include a triple (of sorts) by Marc, and doubles by Bryan, Keith, and Marc.

Goats Outlasted by Radars, 15-14

Make that three straight one-run losses. The Goats could only muster eight players for this outing. Bryan said it was one of those games where the last at-bat would take it. And that's what happened. The Goats scored three in their last at-bat to tie. The Radars placed two runners on base to set up the game-winning ground-rule double in their last at-bat.

Offensive highlights include doubles by Bryan (3), Kevin (3), and DC.

We have had an underwhelming response to today’s game, so we are going to have to cancel.

GAME OFF.

I knew if I waited long enough the other guys might throw in the towel first. And they did. So enjoy the night off and we'll try again next Tuesday.

Goats, No Girls, Forfeit, Good Grief!

The Goats had a Magnificent Seven guys, but no girls. Thus, another forfeit. The Homers were out in force, and willing to play anyway, so we had a scrimmage. The Homers loaned us a catcher for the first couple of innings, and a fielder, Toni, from the 2nd inning on. The Goats initially had nobody on 2nd to start the game and nobody at Rover the whole game. Nobody sure covered a lot of ground. Then, unexpectedly, Jose appeared and we had our own catcher. The Goats also took an out for every girl position in the batting order. It's no wonder the Goats lost the scrimmage, 16-4.

Goat Rookie Steve Krach made his debut. $50 fine if he doesn't play with us next year. Occasional and part-time Goat Chester also made his first game of the season.

It's not easy being green, nor is it easy being a softball manager. It's hard to keep the green when the grey doubles every game!

Sure, Mars needs women - but save some for the Goats!

We are unable to reach critical mass on the roster, so we are going to have to forfeit today.

Sorry

Mighty Goats,

Last call! Party on HN! Punch and pie. Brew & pizza. Shoes & champagne. Armani, Gucci, Prada, and five other Italian words I just learned...

Our FINAL game this season is Tuesday, August 28 on HN. We are visiting the Wild Turkeys.

Please let Bryan and me know if you will play. I will be on travel, so I'll miss the festivities yet again.

Jerry Springer's Final Thoughts: $50 fine to any rostered player, not on travel or not on the DL (that's Keith, and Lloyd of Keith), not in attendance. Test shifts, family visits, and alien abductions be hanged!

Go Goats!

Oh, and let's be careful out there.

Keith