"THE KEIZO is planning to join the Mighty Bells and Babes on the field of honor against the evil Paper Tigers hordes. Is the renowned Jedi, Keithey of Martinelli, able to join us in courageous battle, or does he still remain a pitiful Padawan- learner (minor league)?"

Keith Martin - "Oh, Keizo of yore lore,

We got Babes? When did that happen??? Boy, I guess I've been away too long...

I almost joined the battle last evening, but, alas, the stars were not favorable.

When Tim Salmon comes back - I'll be there. When Troy Glauss, Jim Edmonds, J.T. Snow, Wally Joyner, Rod Carew, and Bobby Grich come back - I'll be there. When Brian Downing comes back - I'll be there! Show me the Rally Monkey!!"

Tom Hoffman (thinking the Goats were playing the team that fussed over the field set-up again, however the fussy field set-up team was the BRUISERS, not the Gravity Fielders) - "Oh, and I plan to be there early and watch the Gravity Fielders pathetic attempt to set up the field . I will laugh at their outdated equipment. I mean sure they have a 150 foot tape measure, an angle, a abacus and a role of duct tape. Sure they will spend 30 minutes measuring and remeasuring the field, referring to softball rules, diagrams, consulting the astrological charts, dialing 411, and performing Voo-Doo sacrifices (or maybe that was another team, hmm...) in a desperate attempt to correctly set the field. But really what hope do they have of getting it RIGHT!

I mean, sure they can get the field set-up to within an inch (or two) of the right distance - pathetic!. If they work hard they may even be able to get the bases square - PAH!. If they get real lucky, they can get the field to point in the right direction - Yeah right. But who wants to play C-league softball with that kind of piss-poor accuracy. I mean we're talking C-LEAGUE here, Gosh Darn-it, we need to get serious folks. Plus, we work for NASA and I mean if we can land on MARS, go into orbit around Saturn, etc. but we can't make a perfect softball field we should just pack it in and go home.

To rectify the situation, I having been working on a fusion powered automatic softball field setter-upper that is GPS driven and can get the field setup to within 3 angstroms of the correct distance for the basepaths and within 5 angstroms of square. It will also ensure that the cones are precisely placed (+/- 2 Angstroms) and account for Earths fluctuating magnetic field to be sure that the orientation of the field relative to magnetic north and true north can be compensated for to within 2.789546230 angstroms. I also have linked into the GRACE gravitational data and plan to place home base away from the gravitational well that has been the cause of my recent batting slump. In any case, my system is much more accurate than that sh-lousy tape measure the Gravity Fielders use. I will be bringing my device to the field, provided that I can get some of the last few clinks worked out before Thursday. (The fusion reactor is almost there!!)."