Humor 2013

Season 2013 Cancelled for the Goat Scouts

January 28, 2013, 9:49 a.m.

Tony & Charlie

The Goats don't have enough players to field a team this year. So we're out without ever making it to the plate. However, I do have ten potential free agents looking for a new team this year:

  • JPL - Bryan Bell
  • JPL - Larry Hernandez
  • Family - Liana Hernandez
  • JPL - Tom Hoffman
  • Family/JPL - Kevin Hoffman
  • JPL - Keizo Ishikawa
  • JPL - Keith Martin
  • JPL - Eisha Matsubara
  • JPL - Marc Pack
  • JPL - Paula Pingree

    Feel free to make any offers if you're interested.

    Note: Bryan, Larry, and I would be interested in going as a package deal - we've played together over 20 years...

    Keith


    C-League Manager Messages

    January 28, 2013, 9:54 a.m.

    Keith -

    The Radars are also very hungry for players. We would take your package deal and/or any others.

    Jeff (Plaut)

    January 28, 2013, 9:55 a.m.

    If this happens, I propose the team name "Graydars". sorry.

    (Richard Chen)

    January 28, 2013, 9:57 a.m.

    Richard,

    Thanks! That made my day - er, week!

    Keith

    January 28, 2013, 9:58 a.m.

    All of these emails reminds me of the goat in Jurassic Park.

    Charlie (Kaczinski)

    January 28, 2013, 10:07 a.m.

    Ah, thanks for taking that well, Keith.

    I hope it works out for you guys. It'd be great to have you on Homers except that adding three would make sufficient playing time an even bigger problem.

    Would you like me to add some or all of the Goats listed below to the C League page as free agents? It seems like you guys have plenty of opportunities already.

    Richard

    January 28, 2013, 10:08 a.m.

    Hi Goats,

    The Eccentrics would be happy to have any of you join our team.

    Cris Windoffer

    January 28, 2013, 10:19 a.m.

    As would the crawdads! We promise not to eat you jurassic park style.

    Mike Gangl

    January 28, 2013, 1:04 p.m.

    Hi Keith,

    Sorry to hear of the Goat Scouts' demise. The Turkeys have always enjoyed playing against the Goats, and we'd be happy to have some of you as teammates — as we did the last time the Goats folded (temporarily) in 1999, when Bryan, Miki, and Paula joined us for one year. Nowadays, however, our attendance has been pretty healthy, so it probably makes more sense for you to join some of the teams that are more desperate for players.

    Not only do the Goat Scouts have more than 20 years of history in C League, you've also maintained one of the better team websites. It would be a shame to lose that team history just because you'll no longer be in the league. For defunct teams with a long history of participation such as yours, I'd like to archive their websites -- to be accessed from the history.jplsoftball.org page because the links from the active cleague.jplsoftball org will disappear after the team drops out.

    If you agree with this plan, there's nothing you need to do. I'll take care of establishing a new link from the history page to the existing goatscouts.jplsoftball.org subdomain to replace the link on C League's page that will go away. However, you might give some thought as to how you'd like the Goat Scouts' website to appear as a permanent historical archive, rather than just a snapshot of the active website taken at the end of your final season. For example, you could replace your current home page with an overview page that briefly describes your 20+ year history in the league, and link all of the individual seasons from there. I'm not suggesting anything complicated, or anything that needs to be done soon. You'll continue to have ftp access to goatscouts.jplsoftball.org until you tell me that you've done your final update.

    -Sam (Dolinar)

    January 28, 2013, 1:14 p.m.

    Sam, thanks for keeping us in mind.

    Keith

    January 28, 2013, 1:32 p.m.

    Keith, And I like the idea that the Goats might be able to come back next year. Your team already holds the award for "most impressive Lazarus act in C League history" — in the league for 10+ years, then died off for a year, but then resurrected for another 10+ years. Now I can look forward to the Goats possibly pulling off this feat twice :-)

    -Sam


    Message from Goat Scouts Managers Dave Herman and Keith Martin

    February 7, 2013, 9:03 a.m.

    Goats,

    Dave "Too Tall, Too Fast, Handsome as a Goat" Herman asked me to forward this to the team - or the remnants therein:

    -------------------------

    Hello Now-Scattered Goat Herd,

    I wanted to let you all know that I will be taking a six-month leave of absence from JPL beginning on February 11, 2013.

    It has been a pleasure and an honor to play (and work) with you all.

    May the Goats one day rise again!

    Dave

    -------------------------

    May that we have a team to welcome him back to!

    Keith


    Goat Stats, playing on another team

    June 5, 2013, 9:02 a.m.



    The image shows how the wayward Goats are faring after seven games this season. The power numbers are down this year, but as Bryan noted, we are missing several motivational factors.

    Lloyd, as you can see, Wonder Boy is still in good hands. Your recruit Daria is doing well. Without the Dark Side influence of The Cheeze, she is bound to be a solid player. We hope your rehab assignment to Cucamonga is strengthening the old knees so we can see you again next season.

    Keith

    June 5, 2013, 11:26 a.m.

    Great to see the old guys are still rocking the ball. I notice there were no HRs. Ability to run all four bases in one stretch is getting too much for you these days?

    Knee is not any better most days. The final tearing of the ACL makes the joint unstable in causes lots of pain with extension, so I am afraid the old spikes are hung up for good. Dr. said no more running or twisting sports or else a knee replacement will be in order shortly. This limits me to golf and riding an exercise bike, but it’s better than surgery right now.

    Keep up the good work and make all the old retired Goats proud (or at least as proud as any of us can get).

    Lloyd

    June 5, 2013, 11:42 a.m.

    Lloyd,

    Isn't golf a "twisting" sport, or are you only partaking of the "miniature" kind?

    Keith

    June 5, 2013, 12:11 p.m.

    Yes, but much more controlled and slower. I play the full size kind.

    Lloyd


    Final Goat Stats, playing on another team

    September 9, 2013, 10:53 a.m.



    The image above are the final (unofficial) stats for this year. We laughed, we cried, we kissed $20 goodbye. At least the EE's approached .500, at 7-8-1.

    Bryan is already scheming how to reanimate the Goat Zombies for next year. I wonder if that means he wants to manage again...

    Keith