Wayne Zimmerman - "I commit to playing again this year----my agent will contact you to negotiate a new contract but I promise to stay under $4000/game and if Art and Al agree to carry my gear bag and provide beer at every game we could make this happen--- --let's do lunch sometime!

Yours Truly---Wayne "the glove" Zimmerman

P.S.----If you could get Art and Al to agree to bring the tennis balls every time we play tennis, that would be nice too!"

Al Sirota - "In this age of spoiled athletes, it is discouraging to see this kind of grandstanding and greedy behavior from Wayne "the Sheffield" Zimmerman. However, since it is before the trade deadline, I think instead of releasing him we might trade him for an equivalently skilled player, notably a cadaver to be named later.

Al"

Art Thompson - "In play, as in work, I am used to having to carry Wayne Zimmerman's work load. For years I have been propping Wayne up to make him appear like a contributing individual in society. I truly embrace the opportunity to help Wayne in his extended time of trouble. After all, his dream is to someday, actually be accepted amongst us - I know it is truly unbelievable, but who am I to shatter Wayne's dreams? And who knows, one day with God's help (lots and lots) he might actually contribute something small to society (or the Goat Scouts).

So I guess what I am trying to say is that I will be there this season. Once again carrying Wayne and the team. As you have come to know, YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ME!

Humbly your servant - Art (Pinky) T."

Wayne Zimmerman - "OK--OK---after having suffered immense abuse and unappreciation, undeservedly I might add, at the hands of my supposed friends Al and Pinky, I agree to sign for only $500/game under the condition that the abuse and spreading of false information damaging to my reputation cease and desist immediately-----with the understanding that I do not admit to allegations that I am full of "load" shall we say, thus requiring me to be carried. With that understanding----the signed contract is in the mail and I will show up for spring training-----hopefully a little lighter.

The Glove---"

Art Thompson - "I accept Wayne's contrite apology. And under these conditions, I feel we should let him play for the agreed upon price of his paying the team $500 a game. To demand more would demean the team that has already lowered its standards to such a dismal level as to allow a player of Wayne's caliber to qualify for the team. I still believe that Wayne has something to give the team, even if it is only money.

Art (Another Homer Run) T."

Al Sirota - "Since Wayne ('the latex glove') has moderated his money demands which has put us back under the salary cap, I will commit to another season. I hope to improve on last season, which should not be too hard given last year's performance. Thanks for the invitation to play!

Al"